Therapy and the END

In September of 2005 my husband received word that he had been selected to pastor a church in Bowling Green Kentucky. This was a call that one could not deny as being Ryan's true call on his life. So with many tears we put our house in Rancho Bernardo, California up for sale. We had instant interest and within two weeks of that the market took a drastic turn. The real estate market had hit its peak and was falling faster than anyone could have anticipated. We had missed our window.

In a way I was relieved, hoping that our house would not sell and we could stay in San Diego, where services for children with Autism were fantastic! Well, in November we found a renter and agreed to be out of the house in two weeks time! We packed the UHAUL as much as would fit and left many pieces of furniture behind. Some things just can't follow, and sometimes I think my hopes and dreams are still there on that back porch. But we drove out and headed for the 40 to take us to our new home.

I plead my case within my own heart that Jacob would be elligible for services until he was three, maybe I could stay behind and move in with my parents until he turned three. His birthday was only two months away, and I knew that two months could make a HUGE difference! But I also knew that with all that I had learned, I could continue helping my son.

Somewhere in New Mexico along the miles we drove my cell phone rang. It was my husband several cars ahead of me. The words he spoke scared me to death. "Something happened to Jacob, he's depressed or something." What do you mean I asked? "He put a blanket over his head and he's just sitting there."

My heart sank, how does a nearly three year old with no language communicate his feelings about spending three days in a car, eating fast food every meal and sleeping in strange motels each night? How do you express your feelings about leaving the only home you've ever known and seeing your Nana(grandma) and Papa wave goodbye to you with tears in their eyes and grief in their hearts? How ould we have done this to our poor child?

My cries were met in Kentucky and my tears have turned to joy. More to follow.