The Drive from CA to KY...(CAKY)

I have been neglecting this blog, I'll be honest, this post hurts me, although it was the beginning of our healing, sometimes the beginning of a treatment plan hurts the most, and this is the case with ours.

I'll never forget loading up our belongings and stuffing my Blazer until literally we were filled. My little girl, now ten months old, sat in the back surrounded by boxes, a cooler with our snacks and her antibiotics (she was always sick)blankets, pillows and our vacuum. My husband drove the rental truck with my son in the front seat, and towed his S-10 behind it and we said our good byes. Good bye to our home, goodbye to our town, goodbye to my parents, my community. That morning my mom came over to "see us off," and she said goodbye to her only grandchildren. I cried all the way to Vegas, I called my husband every hour or so and begged him if we could turn back. I can cry now just remembering my feeling of loss. My hopelessness and feeling of powerlessness, it was the worst feeling in the world at that moment.

Three days of fast food and driving during the daylight, sleeping in hotels along our travels, we had no reservations, no destinations along the way, just a final end point of Bowling Green Kentucky. Day two of driving my cell phone rang, it was my husband. "Something is wrong with Jacob, he put his blanket over his head and he won't take it off." My tears rolled off my chin, I knew then that we had pushed our fragile little boy further into himself. We may have lost him forever, the light in his eyes may have dimmed for the final time. I had to wonder how a two year old processed this, we had left everything familiar. His room was now packed up in boxes, his bed disassembled and stowed in the moving truck, his home cooked food replaced with fast food meals that came in sacks. His mother and sister in a car that he could only see in the review mirror...heck, I wasn't processing this well, how could I expect him to?

After three and a half days we reached Bowling Green and so began the quest to find what this town had to offer...